When the put the pins in and do the surgery, of course they put you to sleep because, I found out, they take this pin which is needle sharp on one end, attach it to a drill and screw it into your toe and foot bones. It is long enought to go the length of your toe and into your metatarsal bone in your foot. This keeps the toe immobile. This the reason you wear wooden slippers to keep the whole length of the foot from bending. Good idea, in retrospect, I'm thinking.
So I arrive at the doc's at 0748 for my 0750 appointment. They call me back at 0752. Not bad. The doc looks at my feet and says, "Good job keeping them dry and well taken care of. No bruising, no swelling. Excellent." (Chicks dig me)
Then she says, "Let me get my vice grips and we'll get them out."
"Ha ha", I say, "Way to try and scare me."
"No, they're vice grips. I'll be back in a moment. Lay down."
Crap. Maybe chicks don't dig me after all. I lay down. I am torn between wanting to watch and just going ahead and telling her where the treasure is buried.
She comes back in with vice grips.
She takes the white cap off, and gets a grip on the end of the metal pin and puts the other hand on my foot and pulls. I can feel the pin sliding through my foot bone and out my toe. On to the other one.
I was shocked it did not hurt really, just felt weird having a telephone pole removed from your pinky toe. Bled a little so she put bandaids on.
"Good! You can shower them tomorrow. Do you want your pins?"
Of course I want them. I love to gross my family out.
It's funny, all the people at work just about fainted or went running for cover. Most of the men, and the one woman. Robyn about died.
All the other women I showed it to were not interested. Grossed them out. Women who have babies became faint at the sight of my pin. And my galls stones.
Do not every brag about having babies again. We all have out limits. Viva la difference!
6 comments:
I am not grossed out. I think this is totally cool! My boys are just beside themselves, looking at the picture! Are you in much pain now?
What a pretty foot.
I have a little bit of the chills though. I con't like picturing the feeling of those pins being pulled out.
Jamee
xoxo
And you should have seen the blood spurting out through the tiny aperature across the room into the wall. It was cool. Actually, I would not have liked that. It didn't happen, though they did bleed pretty bad for a while. Oh, well. That's what you get when you unplug the marrow.
I'm getting faint just reading about this. Really. My heads kind of spinning and my body's getting weak. Then, I realized that you taped your pin to the computer which I am typing on. I think I might go throw up. Thank You.
Sorry, Loni. Sorry, Cindy. You guys can take the pin down. Or remind me to do it. I keep forgetting. I like it there. I'll put it with my other artifacts at work.
You taped your pin to the computer??!! The same computer that the rest of the family uses? Oh my. You ladies really are saints. I'm just sayin'.
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