Belle of the Ball

Update: got my official race stats. Took 680th out of 710 runners. I actually beat 30 sorry pathetic people and one dead guy. Another dead guy beat me but not by much.

First, acknowledgments. Thanks to God for giving me health and strength. Then to Cindy for supporting in all my hare-brained schemes. Then to Cynthia Egbert for buying me the Buddy the Elf costume. I was the hit of the Knoxville Jingle Bell Run for Arthritis 5k race today.

Brian?! In a 5k race? I mean, in a race, period? What I mean to say, is why is Brian running at all? He's old and fat. Good looking, extremely good looking really but who does he think he is?

So anyway, I wanted to branch out. I have never been a runner. No, really. So I wanted to train for a 5k. They are always run/walks. I run more than than walk, and today, I ran all except for twice when I walked for about 30 seconds each time. There were about 500 people, and all the real runners start at the front of the pack because they are done in about 17 minutes. I hate them.

I was hanging back with the people dressed in Santa and reindeer costumes. I dress as Buddy the Elf and nobody else had anything like it. I was swamped with requests to have my picture taken with this group and that. Of course, I had to oblige, regardless of the personal sacrifice to myself.

When I walked up to the registration booth, WBIR Channel 10 was there and the meteorologist doing the shoot came over to me and said, "Hey, do you mind if we speak to you for a moment?"

Moi? Mind?

Then she says, "Do you mind if we put you on live in a minute?

Moi? C'mon.

So I got interviewed. I told her I was a meteorologist, too, for the NWS in Morristown. So she was all jazzed up about that. Did a live interview. It was good because it's my first 5k and I found out when I had my toes fixed that I have arthritis in my toes. Plus, I do really good tv interviews.

Later, before the run, as everyone was milling around taking pictures and warming up, I had several people come up to me and say they'd seen on tv that morning. Don't worry, I'll still be nice to y'all despite my fame.

I had lots of people want to take pictures with me and I wanted pictures with others. Below are some of them.

This is the finish line, in case any one doubts whether I knew where it was.





















This is just before the starting horn. There are just as many people behind me as in front.





















These ladies had Christmas tree hats on their heads. They are just friends and thought it would look cool. They got a lot of requests for pictures, too.






















I call these the Christmas Pirates because of their hats.





















I asked these women what they were supposed to be. "We are tutucute!"






















This little girl saw me and her eyes got real wide and she screamed at her mom, "MOM! THERE HE IS!", pointing to me. Her mom asked, "Who is that?" "IT'S HIM!" "But who is he? (laughing)" "THAT GUY!" "Do you know who that is?" "YES! IT'S HIM (pointing emphatically)!"

I said, "Do you want to get a picture with me?" She did. So we did.






















The Tennessee River from a bridge. Gray day, gray water.






















A group of young adults and a couple older guys were wearing "Team Buddy" shirts. I stopped and asked, "Is Buddy just some guy you know or is it Buddy the Elf?" They stood and stared at me. Finally, the shock over, one of them said, "We are competing with other groups from our church on a movie scavenger hunt. We have to recreate scenes from various movies. Ours is "Elf". Will you help us, pleeeeeaaaasse?" So they had me sit on "dad's" lap and cross my legs as best I could. They said it finished up their list and what a way to finish.























I think this is the skinniest man alive.






















The people running toward me are about a mile ahead of me. Severely lapped I was.






















At about mile 2.5 when I was just putting one foot in front of the other, and traffic had started up on our route and I was choking on car exhaust, I wanted to quit so badly. I wanted to walk and just let my quest to improve my time just go away. I was trying to keep up with a lady in front of me who seemed to have no end of energy and I could hear the bells and conversation of the ones behind me getting closer. Then I looked up about two hundred yards ahead and I saw this little white ball boinking around on someone's head. I thought, "Just following the bouncing ball. Just follow the bouncing ball." So I kept up with it and ran the rest of the way, and even had to pick up my pace to keep pace with the bouncing ball. When I finished I saw the owner of the bouncing ball. I told her I was grateful she had worn that hat, so I could keep up with her.






















More of Santa's elves.






















It's a Bullwinkle Christmas.






















I don't know what they are supposed to be.






















These are the first people to ask for a picture with me.



















This was the most interesting picture. This 14 year old girl, the one with the curly hair standing to the left of me, came up and said, "Can my and my friends take a picture with you?" I was a little worried, but said, "Well, sure." Then she yelled over to a guy, "Coach! He said it's ok!" They are the Farragut, Tennessee Middle School girls basketball team.



















This guy was the goofiest looking dinosaur at the run. I don't know. I just don't know.