Fish tacos, cramps, expensive sofas, robots, new homes, and floods: busy day.

I gave A talk today. My counselor went first. He is about 22, and his name is Brian, Jr. after his dad, Brian Sr, who gave the opening prayer. I am older than they.

So Brian Jr. stands up to speak and says, "I think the bishop should have had me give the opening prayer and my dad give the talk. That way, it would have gone: Brian, Jr., Brian, Sr., and Brian the Elder" to rounds of laughter. Funny boy.

Then I stood up and hobbled over to talk. We have two brothers, older than me, both of whom walk with canes and are full of fun. I said, "You know those nightmares where a scary monster is chasing you and you just... can't...get... away... fast... enough...? well, I had the worst one ever. I was being chased by two monsters and I looked back and it was Brother Friend and Brother Ayers. (laugh) And they were gaining on me." (crack ups) Brothers Friends and Ayers just put their hands up as if to say, "What'd I do?" nothing, man, it's all bonding, and I have the mic.

After I finished, I hit my wooden shoe on the podium as I turned to sit down and sent a loud KABOOM through the chapel. Everyone was aghast and my heart rate spiked and adrenalin shot through my body. But it was just wood against wood. Not my actual feet. That's part of what they do, those wooden things, bless their little knotty hearts.

Went well, came home went to sleep, then woke up with a start with the most awful pain in my right foot, on top just above the toes, right in the middle. could not stand. I finally hobbled out to the living room where Cindy, Loni, and Chris were just about to sit down to eat fish tacos. I cried out in anguish, "Cindy, owie, owie, foot!" She came over and unwrapped it and I told her to just massage the foot. Apparently I got a cramp and let me tell you, a cramp with pins in the bones is the worst thing ever. The Worst. Thank you, Cindy.

Then her presidency came over and I was relegated to either the computer room or the bedroom, my choice. So I dinked around on the pc until I got tired, and then went to bed. Slept great. Woke up on my own and ate more fish tacos. Then Loni, bless HER heart, drove me to work for my midnight shift.

Christ, bless HIS heart, has helped Loni move and brought her stuff over today and the three of them moved all this furniture and clothes and stuff into the basement and Loni's room. The couch is a corner wrap around affair with leather and suede and fits our basement "decor" perfectly, and was given to Loni by her former roommate. This girl, does not work, drives a big old SUV and her dad owns several car lots in Morristown. She gets about $400 a week in "spending cash" plus all her bills paid. Loni was understandably reluctant to take the couch just like that, but the girl said, "It's going in the trash if you don't want it." Fine, yes. I want it. Thank you, Loni. You can keep it, when you go out on your own again. Me? I sat on the couch eating fish tacos and watching them move stuff. Loni did wonders with her room decor. I really like it.

So, I'm at work again, last of two midnights. Go back on days tomorrow. Last night we had flash flood warnings and advisories all night and I find out just now that we had a bunch of roads washed out in Cocke County around the town of Del Rio, so my warning was fully warranted. We have verified rain gage reports of over 2" and approaching 3" inches in about an hour at several sites, plus a report from a weather spotter of over 5" in one hour at his place. (My co-worker was a bit upset with me for issuing the FFW because he thought the storms were moving too fast. Trust me, man. I am the flood program manager. I am pretty good at this. But I'm not bitter, and I'm trying very hard not to be smug, because it's all in my patriarchal blessing.)

Tonight, there are no radar echoes, and all is well.

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Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender. The robot says, “What will you have?”
The guy says, “Martini.”
The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?”
The guy says, “168.” The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology. The guy leaves, but he is curious…
So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, “What will you have?”
The guy says, “Martini.”
Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says, “What’s your IQ?”
The guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar.
The robot says, “What will you have?”
The guy says, “Martini,” and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?”
The guy says, “Uh, about 50.”
The robot leans in real close and says,
“So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?”

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And last: please watch this if you ever want to buy things online